My last September Sunday to squeeze in a post. In the spirit of keeping my “monthly post” commitment I’m getting this up here today. It’s a little less polished than I prefer, but—oh well.
Personal stuff:
Life is good, as my perceptions continue to transform. I am happy to say I am still on the path of unraveling old beliefs that I have clasped tightly. Shocking to me that at age 51 I can still be opening my mind to so many new ideas about awareness, observation, love, authenticity, polarity, abundance, and choice. I can honestly profess that my whole life would have been a blunder had I not quit drinking eleven years ago. Thank goodness I got started. Drinking is a TOTAL waste of energy, money, and time. It produces nothing but falseness and perpetuates only illusion.
Consciousness is where it’s at.
Conscious is the BEST high I have ever known. Way, way, way better than a glass of wine (in my case ‘bottle’). Far more inviting, sustainable, and rewarding. Every door that has ever been closed has opened. And within every room has been a whole new set of doors all for the choosing. I only had to wake the *** up.
And to top it off, it all scares me (a little or a lot) and it’s okay. I’m okay. I can try to learn new things because I can fail and it’s okay. I can look stupid, sound stupid, give the wrong answer or say I don’t know and none of it matters. None of it. We’re on an equal playing field. Everyone is learning something.
Who is this person?
I look around to see if there is someone else in the room.
There is not.
I am working on exciting recovery tools for those who choose recovery (as opposed to those who resist recovery). I am back in school (a triple decade dream) studying BioEnergetic Health (stuff I share about in my book). I work with incredible clients and get to watch their lives completely transform (love you girls). I am busy parenting two kids (btw: this one is the hardest), AND I know what it means to love myself today. Something I thought I could never do.
Do I do it perfect? No.
Recovery Stuff:
There is only one person in the room you need to impress, love, support, nurture, and believe in—it’s you. As you begin to love you, you can begin to truly love another. All the support I chased outside of me was futile attempts at finding me. I was here all along. I was just too drunk to bother caring. When I sobered up I was too shame-filled to even try. I was busy hiding from the only person who could help me.
Me.
When I showed up for me, so did the Universe.
It’s not about giving up the addiction. It’s about getting conscious.
Just because you’ve stopped using/drinking doesn’t mean you’re conscious.
Life doesn’t have to hurt.
See you next month.
I love you.
Believe it.
